


Hiraeth

by delusionofcontrol



Series: My Personal Secretary [2]
Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Lisoo, chaennie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-07-10 15:24:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 21
Words: 21,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15952121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delusionofcontrol/pseuds/delusionofcontrol
Summary: Lisa and Jisoo flew to LA, living and fulfilling their dreams together. but what happens when things start to fall apart, dreams gone in the dark, and LA doesn't feel like home?will they find their way back or will they choose to never return?Personal (My Personal Secretary) Book 2





	1. Chapter 1

The sunlight touching her face makes it even more surreal than it already is; her eyes silently studying every feature there is, as if she was witnessing them for the very first time.

She still can't believe it.

"You should take a photo of it or else I'll melt..."

A hint of smirk made its way to the girl's lips and her eyes slowly opening, meeting the other pair fixated on her. A sigh and a soft smile escaped the other girl's lips.

"Good morning, baby."

"Looks like you already had a head start" she snuggled closer for warmth, smiling

"I couldn't go back to sleep. My view is too beautiful to miss out"

"You and your words, Lisa" Jisoo looked to her and she stared back, switching from her eyes to her lips before leaning in

Jisoo leaned in too, their noses touching and lips grazing

Until a bark surprised them

Dalgom got on the bed and went in between the two. Jisoo held him and kissed him.

"I was supposed to be the morning kiss" Lisa mumbled grumpily, glaring at the dog.

Jisoo looked at her amused and gave her a quick peck on the cheek.

"A smile looks better on you" so Lisa did.

They love staying in on Sundays. They could stay cuddling all day or do something that comes up to mind.

The two of them busied themselves making breakfast as if there were five people eating. With their appetite, it might as well be like feeding a group.

"Are Rosie and Jennie coming? Why do we have all these food?"

"I feel like eating. Who knows? They might just come in since they're just one floor down."

"It's like we have kids..." Jisoo mused and in cue, the door opened.

"Good morning world!!" Rosé said out loud.

"Too loud 'by" Jennie whispered, and she quickly apologized.

"You're up early?" Jisoo laughed when the girl pointed to the chirpy tall girl walking towards the dining table.

The two of them joined the two girls already starting to eat the breakfast prepared, also chatting.

Jisoo watched over everyone enjoying good food and each other's presence. It may not be much, but to her, it was everything she could ask for. This is her family in LA and it makes the homesickness go away

"Hey, you okay?" Lisa whispered and held her hand, face filled with worry

Lisa can see Jisoo's teary eyes. She's not the type to easily open up so she worries about her at times. They still have differences unknown to each other that the two of them have to work on. Jisoo held her hand and smiled at her softly.

"I'm great, baby. Everything's great."


	2. Chapter 2

Jisoo turned to her side and draped her arm over- nothing. She frowned. She slowly opened her eyes to look for Lisa but she wasn't there in her room.

With sleepy eyes, she reached for her phone under her pillow and squinted at it. It was past 10am and all by herself.

     

     

  1st mission: drag jennie with me 

"Why that face?" She immediately linked arms with her friend

"This is my normal face?" Jennie was confused. "No, it's a different kind. A bit restless"

"Oh. Rosie didn't stay the night" the look of disappointment was funny for Jisoo, "you're so attached to her. If I wasn't a good wingman, you'd still be brooding by yourself trying to hide your obvious feelings for her" she teased and laughed

"You gave me a nickname for that reason"

"You'll be fine. Rosie would still come see your clingy self" - patting her.

"How does Lisa even keep up with you?"

"I'm pretty awesome and Lisa has been keeping up with me even before we got together. I'm glad she hasn't gone crazy yet" she pushed the glass door and entered the room filled with the aroma of coffee.

As the two approached the counter, they were greeted with a surprised smile.

"Good day, beautiful ladies. What can I get for you?" Jennie's face beamed into a big smile when she was met face to face with her girlfriend.

"Can I get one Lisa, please?" Jisoo interrupted them. Once the name escaped Jisoo's mouth, Lisa turned her head to see the two.

The girl padded over to them with a bright smile. "Hi!"

"Rosé...did you give her coffee or something?" She eyed the two tall girls and she just shook her head. Lisa playfully glared at her.

"I'll go make your drink. Please wait for me by our spot. I reserved it." She winked

Lisa was off making a drink while Jisoo grabbed Jennie and pulled her to the said table.

"I haven't ordered yet!" She complained

"Oh please. Rosé knows your order even when asleep." Jennie huffed once seated across her best friend. They waited for them to take a break.

It didn't take long before the two brought food over their table and joined them in eating and chatting.

"How was your morning?"

"Uneventful. You weren't there when I woke up. You?" Jisoo scrunched her face and leaned her body on Lisa's, which the girl gladly accepted with hug.

"Same old morning rush with busy people. Oh and I think we're getting new regulars"

"I hope no one's hitting on you or I'll-"

"No one, babe" she kissed her cheek, "I saw like an older version of you though."

"Hmm must be another pretty person" Lisa nudged her gently, chuckling.

Jisoo smirked at her and sipped from her sweet drink. It was odd; she felt a bit worried and nervous, hoping it was something that isn't what she thinks it is.

The four talked until their break was over. Jennie and Jisoo left separately for their different appointments that day.

\----------

 **A/N** : There's a super typhoon in our country today. How's everyone doing? Stay safe to those who are in the PH!


	3. Chapter 3

Given that they live together, Jisoo tries not to visit and bother her girlfriend at work so she can freely do what she wants.

There are just some days when she feels very clingy towards her that she surprises her in the cafe.

Again, keyword: tried

She's doing better at it.

But now that she's occupied taking up master's degree in business and also helping with some of his father's businesses abroad, she's quite packed.

Lisa was also offered by her father to work and assist Jisoo, but she politely declined. She wanted to work on her own without help

CEO Kim understood and didn't push it any further. He was quite impressed with how independent and persistent Lisa is.

He still made it clear to her that the offer still stands whenever she wants to grab it and she was grateful for it. They have a good relationship.

Jisoo loves her job. Even though it gets hectic at times, she still manages. With her sisters busy with their own careers, she chose to work in line with her father's because of her admiration for him and their similar interests.

Lisa sees Jisoo doing well and it pushes her too.

"What are you so smiley about?" Rosé continued munching on her sandwich.

"We're gonna go on a date later" Lisa beamed, while her friend pouted.

"Jennie is busy. I'm not sure if it's okay to ask her on a date too. I'm happy for you though"

"You should ask when she's free"

"Yeah, I will text or call her later"

"Knowing her, she might even ask you now once Jisoo tells her about our date"

"I hope so. Take pics later! Wholesome ones okay?!" Both of them laughed. It's entertaining to make fun of their friends thru social media.

_the gays flocked together in the comments section_

_baby-ception?_

Once the two of them got seated inside the cinemas, Lisa leaned to her and held her hand.

"Thanks for tonight"

"It's just about to start?"

"I know. It's going to be amazing" Lisa kissed her cheek and rested her head back to her shoulder

"As long as I'm with you."

"It's starting to get busy in the office. I want to spend as much time as I can with you"

"It's alright. As long as you come home, it would be fine" Lisa rubbed her thumb against Jisoo's skin.

"It'll require lots of hugs and kisses. I need to recharge well."

"I'd gladly comply."

 


	4. Chapter 4

Given that they live together, Jisoo tries not to visit and bother her girlfriend at work so she can freely do what she wants.

There are just some days when she feels very clingy towards her that she surprises her in the cafe.

Again, keyword: tried

She's doing better at it.

But now that she's occupied taking up master's degree in business and also helping with some of his father's businesses abroad, she's quite packed.

Lisa was also offered by her father to work and assist Jisoo, but she politely declined. She wanted to work on her own without help

CEO Kim understood and didn't push it any further. He was quite impressed with how independent and persistent Lisa is.

He still made it clear to her that the offer still stands whenever she wants to grab it and she was grateful for it. They have a good relationship.

Jisoo loves her job. Even though it gets hectic at times, she still manages. With her sisters busy with their own careers, she chose to work in line with her father's because of her admiration for him and their similar interests.

Lisa sees Jisoo doing well and it pushes her too.

"What are you so smiley about?" Rosé continued munching on her sandwich.

"We're gonna go on a date later" Lisa beamed, while her friend pouted.

"Jennie is busy. I'm not sure if it's okay to ask her on a date too. I'm happy for you though"

"You should ask when she's free"

"Yeah, I will text or call her later"

"Knowing her, she might even ask you now once Jisoo tells her about our date"

"I hope so. Take pics later! Wholesome ones okay?!" Both of them laughed. It's entertaining to make fun of their friends thru social media.

_the gays flocked together in the comments section_

_baby-ception?_

Once the two of them got seated inside the cinemas, Lisa leaned to her and held her hand.

"Thanks for tonight"

"It's just about to start?"

"I know. It's going to be amazing" Lisa kissed her cheek and rested her head back to her shoulder

"As long as I'm with you."

"It's starting to get busy in the office. I want to spend as much time as I can with you"

"It's alright. As long as you come home, it would be fine" Lisa rubbed her thumb against Jisoo's skin.

"It'll require lots of hugs and kisses. I need to recharge well."

"I'd gladly comply."

 


	5. Chapter 5

_you're the one to talk_

It was eventful in the office but she managed to finish things for today. She plans to work a little tonight to lessen the workload for tomorrow. She just hopes she gets past through Lisa. For sure she wouldn't let her work so late if it isn't really needed.

On the way to her car, her phone rang. She answered it through her wireless earbuds as she started the car.

"Hello, this is Kim Jisoo speaking."

"Hey sweetheart. How are you doing?" She smiled when she heard the voice. "I'm good, dad. Good morning to you over there."

"How are you?"

"Everything's fine. I just want to check up on you from time to time"

"I thought you just ask Lisa for updates. You rarely contact me" She teased, to which her dad only laughed at.

"It's been busy. Thank you for updating Secretary Min about the businesses there"

"Maybe if the schedule permits, I could visit you girls over there sometime"

"That would be great. No pressure though, dad. I know you got a lot of things to do."

"I'll look into it. I'll make time" Her father may be busy but he's still making effort to reach out to her.

She smiled at the small gestures he does even when they're miles apart. It feels less lonely.

"I'll take note of that. I'll let you know too if we're visiting Seoul. I miss you guys"

Their call ended and she also arrived at the cafe soon after. She made her way inside to Lisa.

Once she entered, Rosé who was cleaning one of the tables noticed her and pointed Lisa behind the counter, attending to a customer. She headed there and stood behind the lady, waiting for her to finish.

"Thank you. Have a great day!" Lisa handed the lady her drink.

"See you."

As soon as the woman turned around, Jisoo had a glimpse of her. She almost bumped to Jisoo but quickly avoided it. Jisoo did a double take.

"I'm sorry." The woman smiled apologetically. She saw her flinch for a second but she quickly went out and left the cafe.

It couldn't be.

"W-wait" Jisoo immediately followed her out the cafe. Lisa called out for her but she didn't hear it. She stood out front and searched around the area but there was no sight of her. Her hands started shaking.

Someone grabbed her arm and she snapped to see who it was. It was Lisa

"Babe, what's wrong? Why are you shaking? What happened?" Lisa cupped her face with both hands. Jisoo looked lost and panicked. Her eyes weren't focusing on her.

"I-It was her" She stuttered. Lisa pulled her to the side where no one can see them.

"Who? Do you know that person?"

Lisa tried to calm her down as much as she can but she kept looking around looking for someone. She turned her face to her and made her focus.

"Jisoo, look at me. Who is she?" Lisa's heart ached at the sight of a vulnerable Jisoo. A tear escaped from her eye.

"She's my mom."


	6. Chapter 6

It's been days since the incident at the cafe. Lisa couldn't shake the thought and sight of Jisoo looking so rattled. Since she met Jisoo when they were in Seoul, she has never seen Jisoo that vulnerable and fragile. It bothered her so much but she couldn't do anything about it.

Lisa has been trying to get Jisoo to talk about it without forcing her. It seems to be a very sensitive topic. Jisoo hasn't really opened up anything much about her family, and now that something came up from it, she stayed silent. Lisa didn't push it anymore.

_that's so...cheesy_

Jisoo sighed. She knows Lisa is worrying about her but she doesn't know how to tell her. Not even Jennie knows much about her and she's already her best friend for god knows how long. She wanted to open up but a part of her doesn't want to either. It's a struggle once again.

She was jolted out of focus when her phone rang. She turned it off once she saw the time. Good thing she put on an alarm or else she would've forgotten the time and end up going home late to an upset Lisa. She texted Lisa that she was on her way home so she wouldn't worry.

"I'm home," She called out once she entered the apartment. "In the kitchen!"

Jisoo made her way to the kitchen and found Lisa setting up the table. She walked up to her and hugged the girl from behind, resting her cheek against her back. Lisa caressed her arms.

"Tired?"

"Super" She murmured. Lisa pulled her arm and turned to face the girl, cupping her face that has a slight pout on her lips. She pinched Jisoo's cheek lightly.

"Let's eat then get some rest, alright? No more work for tonight" She kissed her forehead then made her sit down.

Jisoo was compliant- probably too tired to argue. As promised, she did eat everything Lisa prepared while giving remarks about her improvement on cooking. The dinner went on with Lisa telling stories from work while Jisoo listened intently. It made Lisa feel at ease somehow.

But things turned around when Lisa felt tossing and turning beside her at 2am, quickly turning on the lamp to see that Jisoo was making all those movements.

"Unnie... tell her... ask her." Lisa watched as beads of sweat trickle down her cheeks, murmuring words and chest heaving.

Lisa shook Jisoo's arms, trying to wake her up from a nightmare. She pulled her closer to her, patting the girl's face.

"Jisoo, wake up!"

Eyes shot open, with a tear rolling down on her cheek, looking confused and desperate. Lisa hugged her tight while Jisoo leaned restlessly.

 


	7. Chapter 7

They didn't talk about it, and it's scaring Lisa even more. It has been a quiet morning and Jisoo stayed in the living room, petting Dalgom in her arms while Lisa watched her from the kitchen. It felt like she's walking on eggshells. She pulled out her phone to ask for help.

_—connecting incidents_

Lisa cautiously padded over to where Jisoo was and sat beside her. She watched her for a moment, thinking of things to say.

"Hey babe?" Jisoo hummed, not looking away from Dalgom on her lap.

"Can we talk about last night?" Lisa saw her hand stop stroking her dog, then continued

"What about it?" She tried to be nonchalant but there was a hint of distress in her voice.

"What was your nightmare about? Do you want to tell me?" Lisa coaxed.

"It was nothing. Just another bad dream" She picked up Dalgom and hugged him close, not giving Lisa a glance at all.

"Are you sure? You've been a bit tense since that day at the café and now you're getting nightmares..."

Jisoo turned to look at her with a stoic face, but slowly gave a smile. "I'm sure. Don't worry about it. I'm fine"

Lisa felt uneasy at the look Jisoo gave her. She's lying.

She let it go once again. If Jisoo doesn't want to open up yet, she's not going to force it. She can't ignore the bad gut feeling though. She knew this will blow up one way or another.

"Are you staying home for the day?" Jisoo shrugged then nodded. She put on her smile.

"How about we take Dalgom out for a walk? Looks like a nice weather out there" Lisa felt relieved once she saw her light up at the idea.

"Did you hear that Dalgomie? You're going out with your moms. Isn't that awesome?" Lisa laughed and watched Jisoo walk to the door.

Jisoo turned around to Lisa and lifted Dalgom in front of her face. "If you don't get up now, we'll leave you mom" She tried speaking as her dog, which only made Lisa chuckle and run towards them.

"Nu-uh. You can't leave me, you two." She pecked on Jisoo's cheek and pat Dalgom.

Jisoo put on Dalgom's leash and carried him on her left arm as they took the elevator. Once they were outside the building, Jisoo put Dalgom down and let him walk. Lisa held out her hand to Jisoo, which she gladly took. She silently watched her as thoughts filled her mind.

Jisoo glanced at her and once their eyes met, Jisoo looked at her with curiosity. She just answered her with a smile filled with worry and love for her, and the girl smiled back.

If she has to distract Jisoo like this for her to open up, she'd do it for sure but until when?

 


	8. Chapter 8

Jisoo walked in, scanning the whole place. She quickly ordered for her usual and sat at a spot that she can clearly see who enters and exits the door. She opened her laptop to continue working but her mind was drifting to something else. Lisa can't know about this thing.

She chose a day where both Rosé and Lisa were taking a day off from the café to come and stay the whole day. Her agenda was to wait for the person she's been meaning to see and talk to for the past 13 years. She's holding on to a thin line of luck here but she's still hopeful.

It didn't take long. After an hour of her eyeing who passes by the door, she saw the person she's been waiting for. She quickly left her stuff by the table and walked over to the counter to "get" some water

"Here's your Americano, Lily" Jisoo choked on her water hearing the name

The woman turned around to see, "Are you okay?" Jisoo cleared her throat and wiped her lips. She nodded and smiled at her, which made the woman freeze in her spot.

"Hi... Do you have a moment? I want to talk to you"

"I actually need to-"

"It won't take long. Please?"

It all went so fast and the next thing she knew was she's back on her spot with the woman sitting across from her, sipping from her coffee.

"Is it okay if I call you mom?"

"Please call me Lily instead" Jisoo felt a pang on her chest but she ignored it and continued to smile.

"I haven't seen you in a long time. How are you?" She tried her best for her voice not to shake.

"I'm good. Everything's been great" Jisoo expected for her to ask her as well but that didn't happen.

"So-"

"I'd suggest you get to the point because I have to go in a few."

Jisoo was dumbfounded at how firm and cold she sounded. She pursed her lips.

"Aren't you happy to see me? Because I am. I missed you mo-"

"I don't know. I didn't really spent a lot of time with you to feel the same, sweetie."

"Oh.. I guess you're right."

"Is that all?"

"Why did you leave us?" Jisoo's eyes were desperate, pleading for an answer. The woman just looked at her with disinterest and shrugged.

"I wanted to. I didn't feel happy anymore so I left"

"Are you happy now?" She looked down on her fingers and focused on them.

"Yeah, I am"

"That's great. I'm glad" Jisoo faked a smile, which the woman returned.

"That was a good chat. I'll have to go now."

"Can I talk to you again some other time?" The woman sighed. 

"I prefer that we don't see each other again. Good bye."

She walked away and left her again.

Jisoo couldn't move as she watched her leave. It felt like déjà vu and it's making her sick in the stomach. The tears are threatening to fall from her eyes but she couldn't care less.

Her own mother didn't even care about her anyway. It all crushed the hope she had for years.

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I kind of messed up and forgot to put chapter 3 so all the chapters moved. sorry!

_where are you??_

Dalgom watched from the carpet as Lisa paced back and forth across the living room, constantly checking and calling Jisoo's unresponsive phone. When she heard the door click, she quickly looked and saw Jisoo's small frame trying to get inside with all her might. Lisa ran to her.

"Where the hell were you? What happened to you?" Lisa helped her up and supported her walking to her room.

"Hi-" Jisoo smiled at her with droopy eyes.

"You're drunk" She cringed at the smell of alcohol

"I am? Yeah I think so.." Jisoo chuckled as her back hit the bed.

"Did you drive? Where's your car?"

"Nope! I hailed a taxi and left the car at the pub? Café? I'm not sure" She frowned.

Lisa left to get some water for her and made her drink it. She proceeded to changing her clothes. Thankfully Jisoo was cooperative and too drunk to move.

Lisa was sitting on the floor, watching Jisoo, laying on her side with eyes closed, mumbling things. She moved the strands of hair covering her face. Jisoo opened her eyes and stared back at Lisa with such desperation and fragility.

"What's wrong, baby?" Lisa stroked her face.

She can see her eyes welling up with tears and her lips forming a pout, but she stopped it and tried a smile.

"She left again..." A tear fell down, wetting the sheets, "She's always leaving me"

Jisoo started crying and Lisa sat on the bed and pulled her to sit on her lap.

Jisoo rested her chin on Lisa's shoulder and clung to her like her life depended on it. She clutched on her shirt while Lisa patted her back softly

"My mom doesn't want me nor happy to see me. She wants me gone in her life. Why am I always chasing her when she clearly hates me?"

"I just wanted her to acknowledge me as her daughter. When I look at her, I feel like she doesn't care for me at all! I wasn't enough for her! We weren't enough for her to be happy"

Lisa's heart ached at her girlfriend sobbing and shaking violently. Her walls are down, but also her heart and hopes are crushed to the ground. Pent up feelings and frustrations for years has been laid out in the open without control and the only thing Lisa can do is to be there and be the strong one for her.

"She didn't deserve someone like you. You're more than enough."

"But why wasn't it enough for her to stay? For her to accept me?" Jisoo was getting frustrated.

"I don't have the answers you want, babe. But even if she doesn't, there are other people willing to stay and accept you. I'm here."

They stayed like that for the rest of the night until Jisoo cried herself to sleep, with Lisa comforting her. It was horrible for her to witness, but she's sure that it pained Jisoo a lot more than she can imagine.

Lisa stayed up holding her close, hoping that even in her slumber, she'll feel her love will be enough.

 


	10. Chapter 10

Lisa has been trying her best to understand and be patient around Jisoo because she's been through a lot for the past days. She's doubling her efforts, even calling Jisoo's family to speak of the issue to let them know. but she doesn't want Jisoo to know that she did that.

"I called your dad the other day. I told him work has been stressing you out and you need a short vacation." That wasn't true. CEO Kim insisted that Jisoo should get an indefinite leave but knowing Jisoo, she doesn't want that.

Jisoo snapped and turned to her with a deep frown.

"What? Why would you do that?"

"Babe, you need a break. You can't focus on work" Lisa kept her voice soft and at bay, to avoid triggering Jisoo more.

"No- I need work to focus my mind on something else. Why didn't you even tell me first?" She ran her hand through her hair.

"Dad didn't even tell me this?"

"He thought it was best for me to relay it to you. Secretary Min is already handling your projects together with the other department." Lisa watched as Jisoo let out a sigh and a bitter chuckle.

"You can't just decide for me, Lisa. That's not it."

Jisoo's trying her best not to snap at Lisa, with her fist kept tightly at her sides and clenching her jaw. Her stares could already pierce Lisa but she just shrugged it off.

"Well, I can't just watch you be miserable."

"I am not miserable. I told you, I'm fine."

Lisa stopped.

She looked at Jisoo and scoffed.

"Fine? You've been coming home very late at night. Drunk, if I might add. Is that what you call fine, Jisoo?"

"What's wrong with having a few drinks? Can't I do that to take stress away from work?"

"Few? You can't even get yourself to walk."

"Fine, maybe a lot more than I can handle. I just want to clear my mind from things but that doesn't mean I'm not able to do my job properly."

Lisa sighed, pressing her fingers against her temple. She took a deep breath then walked towards Jisoo, who's been keeping a facade.

She gently held her arm, sliding down to her balled fist, trying to open it and hold her hand.

"I'm just worried about you. I'm sorry, I should've ask you first. I just see that you need a break from all of this. Maybe you should do other things to distract your mind. Hobbies?"

Lisa can see Jisoo feeling conflicted, but she let it go once she felt her loosen up and her facial expression softening. She breathed deeply.

"If that's what you think, maybe it's best to try. There's no harm in trying, I guess." Lisa smiled.

"If you need help, don't hesitate."

Jisoo surrendered into a nod and let her girlfriend engulf her in an embrace.

It was odd. They were close to each other, feeling each other's heart beat but it felt like something was terribly wrong. It made Lisa uneasy but she couldn't point it out.

She hugged tighter instead.


	11. Chapter 11

Jisoo did take a break from work. She also received a call from her father and they talked for a while but no one spoke of the big issue. Her dad knew of it through Lisa but not all the details. He didn't want to be the one to open it because he doesn't know the whole story.

Jisoo did everything to avoid speaking of it. She only diverted the conversation about work. She could do it well to be honest and better than anyone else to be exact. Lisa knew that, even if she was a bit out of focus. But Lisa couldn't let Jisoo destroy and tire herself out in the process of it.

Lisa observed her for days as she tried to take on new hobbies. At first she was doing good at reading her books again and taking out Dalgom in walks and dog trainings. She was happy about it.

Sometimes, they cook breakfast together or by herself to try it

It was a big relief for Lisa even though at some nights, she would find herself waking up to Jisoo caught up in nightmares or seeing Jisoo at the living room, standing by the big windows or shuffling through the kitchen, drinking from a bottle of alcohol. She kept quiet about it.

Lisa would always comfort and wake Jisoo up from her nightmares. She'd try to get Jisoo go back to bed if she ever sees her staring out by the windows or drinking a glass of wine. But Jisoo would always reason out that wine helps calm her and get her to sleep at night.

She knew it was bad that Jisoo starts depending on alcohol for her situation. So when Jisoo is out doing new hobbies, she started taking out bottles of tequila and wine one by one, disposing them in the sink or toilet. Sometimes taking them to Jennie's apartment.

Lisa only didn't touch about 2-3 bottles that Jisoo always drinks so she wouldn't get suspicious. But she knew she'll finish them soon and she doesn't have a reason once she finds about it. Hopefully, she doesn't think of it.

Another thing that she's also been noticing from the days that she'd always been going home drunk, are the text or calls on Jisoo's phone from a certain number. At first, Lisa didn't think anything of it aside from work related. But sometimes, she'd get distracted of the constant vibrating of her phone that Jisoo ignores.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" Lisa pointed to her phone, which only Jisoo shook her head. "It's nothing. Just some person asking about work."

Maybe Jisoo doesn't want to be bothered with work-related stuff. She can't really tell her to block the number if it's work.

So they both ignored it until it stopped. And it happened again in some other days and both of them did the same. Except that one time where Jisoo was in the shower and her phone was in bed where Lisa was sprawled all over. She stared at it like it would give her answers.

She thought of opening and checking it, but also decided against it. The curiosity was eating her inside and soon enough she found her arm slowly reaching out for the phone until she held it in her hand. She knew Jisoo would take long in the shower so she did it.

She opened it.

She saw various messages from different persons but what caught her eye was the unknown number that had several missed calls and unread messages. She opened it and saw messages that made her heart beat faster.

[#...]:  _Hey, you've been MIA lately. When are you coming back? xoxo_

She saw many other text messages asking Jisoo when they'll meet again to "have fun" but she stopped at the 10th message she read. She closed the phone and threw it back on the bed.

She had thoughts pooling her mind about the possibility of Jisoo cheating on her but she shut it down. Jisoo would never do that to her. And it's not as if Jisoo ever replied to that person since she saw no replies from her girlfriend. That was the only thing that made her sane at this point. She shut her eyes tightly, mentally kicking herself.

Jisoo wouldn't do that to her.


	12. Chapter 12

**_❯❯ trigger warning | read with caution ❮❮_ **

It was awkward for the both of them for the past days. No one's sure why. There was this growing tension between them and no one was brave enough to break it. Maybe it was for the best but it could also turn to something bad if went out of control. They weren't sure what to do.

They were fine, as they thought. Lisa would worry but Jisoo was doing well with her new hobbies. She just haven't had the courage to call out Jisoo on her late night drinking. Good thing, Jisoo is just drinking a glass or two in their house and not somewhere else unsafe.

But it still made her uneasy, plus the fact that the lingering fear of someone else getting into the picture.

Lisa was deep in slumber, comfortable and relieved that Jisoo was just sleeping beside her. But when she heard slamming of doors and clinking of bottles in a distance she opened her eyes only to find that she was just hugging a big pillow next to her.

Once she went out of their room, she was met with Jisoo wobbling around the kitchen, opening the cabinets as if she was looking for something that she might know of.

Alcohol.

"What are you doing?" She asked, with her voice still husky from sleep. Jisoo tore her sight away from the cabinet above her and searched for the source of that voice.

"I'm just looking for something" She said, and went back to her search. Lisa walked towards the kitchen to see and she was surprised that Jisoo wasn't in her pajamas. She was wearing casual clothes and shoes, as if she went out and just got home. As Lisa walked closer, she could smell that Jisoo was already reeking of alcohol mixed with the smell of smoke that made her step back a bit.

"Why are you dressed like that?" Lisa tried to talk to her calmly first. "I went out for a bit for some fresh air" She answered, still busy looking around.

"And you didn't bother telling me because?"

"You're deep in sleep. I didn't want to wake you up." Lisa was starting to get ticked off by the unbothered attitude that Jisoo has been giving her. She gritted her teeth, staring daggers at the back of the girl.

"Oh, so if I didn't wake up, I wouldn't know that you went out?"

She was met by silence. Jisoo wasn't even listening to her anymore as she grew frustrated that she couldn't find what she was looking for. Lisa called her name twice but she didn't even budge. She gripped on her arm and pulled her.

"Jisoo, look at me!"

"What?!"

"You're not listening to me! Stop looking for more alcohol because I threw them out days ago!"

That seemed to get Jisoo's attention because she struggled away from Lisa's grip and went closer, with her bloodshot eyes glaring at her.

"You threw them away? Why would you fcking do that?!" It only provoked Lisa back.

"I knew you were drinking them at 3 in the morning."

"I told you! They help me sleep!"

"They don't! You're reeking of alcohol right now and you don't look like you're gonna sleep anytime soon. Just stop it already."

Jisoo is flaring with anger and it started to scare Lisa. She stood close to her, with Lisa cowering in fear.

"You don't tell me what to do, Lisa!"

She hissed, spinning around to grab the empty bottle of Chardonnay and smashing it against the counter. The shards of glass spreading across the room, also hitting against Lisa's arm from the impact

"You don't do that, you hear me?"

Jisoo continued screaming and trashing their place by throwing plates and glasses around. Lisa couldn't even move. She was just shaking against the wall, covering her ears and shielding her face with her arms, with tears streaming down her face.

"S-stop, please..." She mumbled.

Jisoo walked closer to her again, pulling an arm away from her face with a tight hold on it.

"You said you understood me! I did what you told me- I learned new hobbies! I just wanted to loosen up with a few drinks, and you go throwing them away!"

The look on her girlfriend's face was nothing that she's ever seen. Even if Jisoo grew pissed or angry at her, she didn't go to this extent. She wouldn't even come near Lisa if ever they had a misunderstanding. Her eyes were filled with anger and her face was turning red from heat and alcohol.

"Get away from me!" Lisa pushed her away, just enough to be able to get free from her grip. She ran towards the living room, not minding the glass prickling her feet.

"Stop- just stop!" She screamed, shutting her eyes tightly, so she wouldn't have to look at the girl. Just as Jisoo was about to get near her again, their front door swung open with Jennie and Rosé both shocked at the seen before them. Jennie immediately run to them, stepping in front of Lisa.

"Don't you even dare coming closer. I'll call the fucking police on you, Jisoo."

Jisoo stood frozen at the sight of Jennie glaring back at her. She looked around their place and saw the disaster she'd caused. Rosé ran to Lisa's rescue to comfort her and guide her to the bathroom. Jisoo watched in shock as she saw blood on the floor, from Lisa's foot prints.

She tried to walk to Lisa to check on her but Jennie didn't even let her move from her spot.

"You're not going near Lisa. We're taking her home and you'll only be able to talk to her if she agrees and if you fix yourself. You're a freaking mess." Jennie sneered at her.

Once everyone left her unit, she started shaking and fell onto her knees. She was now sober enough to think of all the terrible things she had done, especially to Lisa.

"W-what have I done..." She sobbed, crouching down against the floor, with her hands gripping on her hair.

\----------

A/N: Have some angst after last night's pure and soft lisoo feels haha. Have a great day ahead!


	13. Chapter 13

Her head was pounding so hard, and the lights poking through the curtains, hitting her eyes are making it worse. She turned to the other side of the bed and once that she was able to slowly open her eyes, she realized she was in an unfamiliar room.

She saw a glass of water by the bedside table and drank it to help ease the headache and dryness of her throat. As she looked around, she knew where she was as soon as she spotted a bunch of stuffed toys by the corner and a few make up by the dresser.

Lisa walked out of the room and heard noise in a distance, following it to see where the people are. She saw Jennie and Rosé preparing food in the kitchen as she made her way by the dining area.

"Oh hey, you're awake. Sit down and relax. Breakfast is almost ready." Rosé told her as she set up the table. She complied and silently sipped from her glass of water until the two were done.

"Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate?" Jennie asked with a smile.

"Hot chocolate, please. Thank you." The girl nodded and quickly fixed her a drink before joining the table.

Breakfast was filled with just the two making small talks, trying to include Lisa in it, in which the girl tried even though her mind was still filled with worry and fear about last night's incident. She couldn't help thinking about her girlfriend.

Is she alright? Has she eaten? Is she drinking again?

It was a cycle but Jennie keeps on snapping her to reality, trying to distract her from it.

"Less thinking, more eating, okay Lisa? We'll talk later." Jennie gave her an assuring nod. They do have to talk about it anyway.

Lisa helped in washing the dishes. She insisted that she do it alone since the two already prepared the food. Rosé agreed and dragged Jennie out of the room before she tries to join Lisa. She sensed Lisa wanted to be alone doing something else than left with her thoughts.

When she was done with the dishes, she made her way to the living room where the two are busy watching the TV. She sat alone by the chair and joined them. She had her eyes fixed on the show while her mind floated elsewhere. It didn't take long until the TV was turned off, without realizing. 

"Lisa, are you okay?" Rosé spoke up, trying to get her attention. She turned to them and nodded, "Yeah, I'm fine I guess."

"We need to talk. Is that okay?"

"I can't escape it, can't I?" She said with a sad smile. Rosé turned to Jennie and nudged her to do the asking.

Jennie cleared her throat and faced Lisa properly.

"How long has this been going?" Lisa played with her fingers, trying to focus on them while she organized her thoughts.

"The drinking has been going on for almost three weeks...since the café incident."

"I tried to stop it and help her, which she followed. Remember the few bottles I gave you one day? I was trying to dispose them one by one. But she was secretly drinking late at night without me knowing it."

Lisa's voice started getting shaky.

"U-until last night happened."

She kept wringing her fingers together. She felt a hand cover them and she stopped, looking at Jennie.

"Lisa, tell me honestly. Did she hurt you?"

She started shaking her head frantically, wiping the tear that suddenly fell on her cheek.

"No, no. She wouldn't. She didn't."

She sighed and collected herself. Rosé stood up and went to get her a glass of water.

"She was just really frustrated and angry because she couldn't find any alcohol and I kept telling her to stop it."

"Are you sure? You were injured when we took you from there."

Jennie was skeptic, with her brows furrowing at the state of Lisa.

Lisa looked down on her arms and there were small wounds that came from the glass that hit her when Jisoo broke the bottle. She could still feel the stinging pain on her feet whenever she moved around.

She noticed the bandages wrapped around them.

They hurt but nothing hurt more than what she felt in her chest.

Jisoo was still miserable. She bit her lip at the thought.

"Yes, I'm sure. I could've done better. I should've handled it better."

It was soft but Jennie heard them clearly. Rosé gave her the glass of water to drink.

"You did what you can to help, Lisa. It wasn't your fault. It went out of control before we knew it and none of us could've fixed it right away."

They stayed silent for a moment, letting Lisa replenish herself.

"Don't worry. You'll stay here for a while. I called someone to deal with Jisoo. She won't be coming near you anytime soon."

Lisa panicked, "What do you mean?"

"She's in good hands. They'll be more capable of handling her than us so let's just wait for it."

\----------

 **A/N** : Hey guys. I see you liked the previous chapter. Angst is life, yeah? lmao. This one is more of a filler chapter. If I get the motivation, the next chapter would be longer but that still depends on my laziness scale haha. Anyway, have a nice day.

Except for you, YG.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flashbacks are italicized

 

There was loud banging on her door but she didn't bother getting it, or knowing who was there. It might as well be the police trying to arrest her for the mess she made last night and for hurting her girlfriend.

God, her poor girlfriend...

She gripped her hair with both hands, trying to knock some sense in her messed up mind. She was all sober now. Her throbbing headache couldn't compare to the stinging pain in her eyes and chest. She was up all night thinking and blaming herself.

"You're indeed a mess, as I've been told" A voice sounded through the room and snapped her from her thoughts. She looked at the source and saw a familiar face.

"Why are you here?" She said with her strained voice. The woman glanced at her with a stoic expression, but she saw her eyes were different.

"I was in the area since the other day."

She turned to the two body guards behind her and commanded them.

"Give me the keys to the car and fix this place. I'll drive back to the hotel with Jisoo." They agreed and bowed to her, while the girl crouched down to Jisoo's level to talk to her closely.

"Come with me and we'll fix this, okay?" She tucked a stray hair behind her ear.

Jisoo's eyes were brimming with tears, as she looked back at the woman's eyes full of pity for her. Jisoo nodded, letting her sister grab her hand and lead her out of her unit to get to Irene's car.

"Does dad know?" She broke the silence once they were settled inside Irene's suite room. The older girl gave her a glass of water which she drank in one go.

"That you're with me? No." Irene sat across her, "Jennie was the one who called me."

Jisoo grimaced at the sound of Jennie's voice that kept repeating through her head. The look of disappointment, anger, and fear from her best friend's face flashed in her memory.

"She probably hates me right now."

"Debatable" Irene shrugged. Jisoo just looked at her.

"None of them hates you. They would've called the police, but they called me instead."

Jisoo frowned at the realization. Anyone could've charged at her and threw punches to snap her back to her senses. No one even dared touching her.

But maybe they were just full of disgust to even lay eyes or hands on her. Even she was disgusted with herself right now for what happened for the past weeks.

"They're disappointed but they still care for you." Irene paused. "As long as you're here, I'll be the one in command."

It was fair enough. She wouldn't trust herself either in making decisions since she's been making bad ones lately. She sighed and rested her back against the chair.

"You can't go alone anymore. It's either I'm with you or the bodyguards will go with you."

Irene raised her brows, making her look more intimidating than she already is. But she knew that she means what she says right now.

"Try to escape from me or from them, all these will reach dad right away. Understood?"

Jisoo agreed. She can't let their dad worry about her.

She can't let him know how much of a failure and a mess she is right now. She's too ashamed of herself and can't probably face him anytime soon.

Irene stood up, "Go take a shower. It'll make you feel a bit better. I'll prepare you food. I'm sure you haven't eaten anything."

Jisoo immediately stood up and followed her sister, tailing behind her. She gently held her arm.

"Irene..." She stopped and turned to Jisoo. "Did they say anything about not wanting to see me?"

"No, they didn't. I'll ask them later on."

"May I visit Lisa?"

Irene frowned at the small voice of her sister. It was even more painful to watch as she tried to smile, even though she knew she was hurting and blaming herself so bad right now.

"I don't think that's best right now..." She saw Jisoo's shoulder slump, "But I'll ask about her."

Jisoo smiled sincerely, holding Irene's hand with both of her hands.

"Thank you unnie. Thank you so much."

Irene smiled and nodded back, watching her sister go to one of the rooms to clean and fix herself. 

It's like they're back to a nightmare that happened years ago again.

_"Unnie, where's mommy?"_

_Irene heard Jisoo ask Dara again for the nth time. It has been a routine for days and it's starting to irritate her so much that her patience is wearing thin. But then, Dara is more patient than her and she's thankful that Jisoo decided to ask their eldest instead of her this time._

_Dara sighed and Irene understands. Both elder sisters knew why their mom is nowhere to be found and they pity their youngest for being clueless about all the things that has happened. Jisoo may not be their mother's favorite, they're all daddy's girls if you asked, but their youngest is the clingiest to their mom, always looking for recognition from her. How can anyone blame her? The woman barely gave her attention._

_Dara faced Jisoo with a sad smile before glancing quickly to Irene, as if to ask for a signal. Looking at her pained her so much. It's hard to break it to her, knowing her hopes for their mom to acknowledge her will crush her to pieces._

_Their father talked to the two of them, knowing they'd understand better than their little Jisoo. It made them both angry at their mother at some point, but their pity and sadness for Jisoo overcame. They knew it will be devastating for her if she finds out._

_"I don't know either, Jisoo. No one knows..." Jisoo tilted her head to the side, "When will she be back? Can we visit her, please?"_

_"I'm not sure..." if she'll ever come back, Dara thought. Jisoo kept quiet for a minute and her sisters were worried on how her mind is working right now at the piece of information that barely answered her questions. Irene's brows shot up when she saw Jisoo smile, hugging the small pink rabbit plush toy in her arms._

_"It's okay. Maybe she's just busy. I'll wait for mommy!"_

_It was awkward to watch so Irene busied herself in writing on her little notebook in front of her, scribbling anything that would distract her about it. How long will Jisoo wait? She's never coming back for them. Screw that woman._

_"Who's up for a trip to the theme park tomorrow?"_

_All heads turned to the deep voice that cut in their conversation, with Irene and Dara sighing in relief as if being saved from trouble._

_"Me! Me! I want to go, daddy!" Jisoo was jumping up and down before she ran towards his father's open arms for an embrace. She's just too pure and innocent._

_"Dara unnie and Irene unnie will come too. Right?" She looked back at the both of them to confirm. But of course, Irene just had to tease her because she loves getting reactions from her._

_"I'm not so sure... I have lots of homework to do for the weekend so I might not." She shrugged, sporting a poker face on._

_She was right when she saw Jisoo frown then pout at her. It was cute and funny for her. The little girl walked towards her, with her little bunny held at one of its arms, being dragged together._

_"But Irene unnie..." She whined softly, looking up at her with puppy eyes. She sure knows how to get people with her charm because it didn't take long before Irene broke out of her act and crouched down to her level with a grin._

_"Just kidding. Of course, I'll go with you. We'll even ask your best friend, Jennie, if she can come with us."_

_Everything felt a bit normal again._

_If you can even call it close to normal._

_Everyone was excited, especially the little one. They just got off the van in front of the theme park and there were only a few people since it was still early._

_Irene watched from behind as Jisoo gushed to Dara about the things she would do at the theme park. From telling her she's excited to meet Jennie later to riding the carousel with all of them, you name it._

_She was wondering how Dara manages to entertain her with the same level of enthusiasm. Irene felt like her ears would fall off if it was her in her eldest sister's place._

_Nonetheless, she found it cute. She was happy to see Jisoo distracted, instead of sulking about their mom's absence._

_Irene watched as Jisoo started running away from them, almost instinctively following after her but when she saw their father a few meters away, she let her be and caught up with them._

_"I'm not late, am I?"_

_"No, daddy. You're in time!"_

_Everything went out smoothly in that fine day. With Jisoo's energy, everyone was forced to keep up with her._

_Jisoo already gave up holding Gaji, her pink plush bunny, and placed it inside her small backpack  so she could hold her father's hand and hold Jennie's with her other hand. You could see his bunny ears poking out from her bag. Jennie was quiet but it was evident that she enjoys Jisoo's company._

_They've already ridden on half of the rides there is that would allow the two girls' heights. It was almost lunch so their father decided to keep them all fed before continuing their fun adventure, which Dara was most thankful for, because keeping up with kids is not an easy job for a young adult like her. Food and a bit of rest is all they need._

_They've been holding Jisoo back from buying candies and having sugar rush, to which she obliged, but once she found the cotton candy stand in front of the restaurant they were eating at, no one could stop her._

_"Come Jennie! Let's go buy!" Two kids were quick to sprint out of the restaurant, and Irene volunteered to go after them as the adults rested for a bit and watched over them from the windows._

_The two were already watching their cotton candies be made to their liking when Irene arrived. She placed her hand on Jisoo's shoulder, making her turn around._

_"Jisoo, didn't we tell you to always have an adult go with you? You might get lost here. It's a big crowded place, you know?"_

_Jisoo was quick to pout and apologize. She must've known already the trick to get her sisters' hearts so Irene lets it go. They stayed out at the bench while the two kids ate their cotton candies that were bigger than their heads while Irene listen to them giggling to their innocent chatter and watch people pass by in front of them._

_It was fun; Everyone was happy, especially Jisoo, and that was the most important. She knows it's only for today, or maybe for a few more days before she starts looking for their mother again. And it pains her to think of her sister continue longing for someone who will never come back._

_Maybe she could shield it from it for a while but she could only do so much. She's still young but she's already overprotective of Jisoo, just like her father and Dara._

_She wished this moment would last._

_But it didn't._

_She saw a blur of small figure holding an almost finished cotton candy. She glanced to her side and saw Jennie was still beside her. She quickly instructed her to go back inside the restaurant, waving at her nanny to come get her before she ran after Jisoo._

_She was clueless what was happening but everything started to get blurry as Jisoo sped off following someone._

_Irene tried to avoid the crowd but ended up pushing some people out of her way to get to her. She can't lose her from her sight._

_She started calling out for Jisoo's name but the kid didn't even bother looking back. She saw Jisoo let go of her cotton candy and hug a woman from behind. She stood from a short distance away from them. Irene couldn't just get closer._

_The person stopped at the sudden contact and turned around to see a kid below her._

_She had her hair done differently from what she remembers, and her face sporting an expression so unfamiliar. It started to scare Irene, for Jisoo._

_"Mommy, you're here!"_

_Jisoo looked up at the woman, still embracing her tightly with a big smile etched on her lips._

_The woman gripped on Jisoo's arm, making her grimace at the tight hold. She removed her little arms around her and stepped back from the confused kid._

_"Hey, little kid. Can you get off me?"_

_Irene stepped closer with balled fists on her side, ready to fight this monster standing indifferently in front of them._

_"But mommy, it's me. I'm Jisoo. You came here to see us, right? I missed you..."_

_Jisoo stepped closer, and so did Irene, instinctively. The woman before them stepped back._

_"Don't come closer. Look at you, you're a messy kid." She looked at Jisoo from head to toe with disgust, as if she didn't want to touch her, as if she was a stranger._

_She arrogantly dusted off her coat, trying to get rid of the "dirt" from when Jisoo hugged her. She took a glance at Irene and she swore she saw a hint of smirk playing on her lips. Irene was ready to charge at her for haunting the little kid._

_She looked down on Jisoo with strong distaste and pointed a finger._

_"I don't know you so stop following me."_

_The woman, supposedly mother to them, turned on her heels and went on her way, disappearing in the crowd._

_Irene immediately ran in front of her sister who was quiet and standing still after all that has happened._

_She knelt and held her arms but as soon as she saw her face and touched her, that's when she realized that Jisoo was shaking in shock and stared off at a distance, to where their mom walked off._

_Irene engulfed her in a crushing hug as she felt pain shooting in her chest from her sister's devastating state._

_It was quiet. Jisoo was too quiet and it scared her._

_She could still feel her shaking but Jisoo was also too still, as if she wasn't breathing anymore._

_Irene shut her eyes tightly, still hugging her, as she heard voices calling for them and running steps coming towards them._

_Jisoo stayed and rested her chin against her sister's shoulder, not even giving Irene a hug back._

_No response at all._

_"Baby, it's okay. We only mistaken her for somebody we know. Listen to me. You're fine, okay?"_

_Irene tried comforting her, rubbing her hand against her back, but it felt as if it was her that she needed to make believe of the things she said. She knew Jisoo was too smart to believe the bull she kept whispering into her ear._

_She could hear their father and Dara approaching and asking them from a distance but she stayed still for Jisoo, trying to protect her from the chaos that surrounded them._

_Irene felt hands grip on her shirt, pulling them down, closer to Jisoo, and_ _felt her shoulder get wet at the same time._

_And that's when she knew, everything was never gonna be the same again._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a long chapter I've promised. I didn't proof read so i hope there were minimal mistakes...
> 
> So how are we on this fine day? I hope you enjoyed. Next update will be on Sunday then back to our usual update schedule. Comments are deeply appreciated~
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	15. Chapter 15

Jennie and Irene decided that it was best for Jisoo to be away for at least three days. Everything was still fresh for everyone so they thought each one of them needed time to think and reflect on it.

Jisoo didn't protest anymore. She knew something like that would happen.

She was still hopeful to see her friends and girlfriend as soon as possible, to ask for their forgiveness. She was trying her best to fix herself every single day.

It has been hard. She's been craving for alcohol but she's also longing for Lisa's comfort more.

It made her laugh at herself, thinking that alcohol would help her when all this time, Lisa was doing it for her. She just chose to be blind at it.

Her phone was confiscated and she doesn't know when she'll get it back. She was thankful that they brought Dalgom to the suiteto help her get distracted with the bad thoughts.

She eyed Irene's phone that was on the coffee table and surveyed the area. Irene has been away for five minutes now. She sneakily grabbed it and opened it, silently thankful that it still has the same pass code she knew.

She dialed the number she knew so well even if her eyes were closed and called it.

Her heart started beating fast when it started ringing. She waited for someone to answer until the sixth ring.

"Hello? Irene unnie?" Jisoo put her hand over her mouth to prevent herself from being heard by the person on the other line. Her emotions are hitting the roof. She smiled while tears trickle down her cheeks. She bit at one of her fingers to keep herself from speaking.

"Irene unnie, are you there?"

Jisoo quickly wiped her tears and inhaled sharply.

She bit her lip as the tears continued to flow. She couldn't stop the sounds coming from her anymore. She took a deep breath.

"Unnie, are you oka-" With trembling voice, she interrupted the other person.

"I'm sorry." Jisoo quickly ended the call and put the phone back.

She covered her face with her palms and continued crying.

"I'm so sorry, Lisa. I-I love you..." She stuttered between sobs.

Irene watched her from a distance, not letting her sister know she saw everything. She turned around and went back in her room quietly to give Jisoo the privacy she needed.

Lisa stood frozen, still holding the phone against her ear. She knew that voice. She'd know that voice anywhere

She can't deny she missed hearing that voice, but it was also sending her stinging pain in her chest as she heard how sad it sounded. It made her want to go and hug the familiar small frame of the girl.

She missed her, and somehow she's also sorry for both of them for being in a complicated situation like this. Lisa looked at her screen, showing her the wallpaper she loved so much.

A photo of her and Jisoo together.

She put the phone on her chest, slowly closing her eyes shut.

"Hang in there, love."

She whispered to herself, hoping Jisoo would feel it, also trying to comfort her troubled heart. Soon, they'll meet again and talk of what's best for them.

For now, space is what they need.

She composed herself before leaving the room and looking for the couple. She made her presence known when she spotted them.

"I'm ready anytime. I want to see her too...to check how she is. We also need to talk. A serious one."

The two were a bit surprised but they understood what she meant.

"Alright. Just tell me if you changed your mind or anything." The tall girl shook her head, wearing a tight-lipped smile.

"I won't. It's better we do it soon, if that's possible."

"I'll let Irene know." Jennie proceeded to make a call and left the two of them.

Rosé invited her to come sit next to her and gave her a side hug.

"You're so strong, you know?" Lisa stayed quiet. "But if you ever need anything, you know we'll be there for you, right? Jisoo isn't the only one we're friends with. You're dear to us too."

Lisa held her hands.

"Thank you. I can't express myself enough, but thank you for saving us both. I know you also cared for Jisoo even if she's in big trouble right now"

Rosé laughed softly.

"We can't possibly abandon a friend when they're at their lowest point, can we? We'll all fix this together."

Lisa went in for a hug since she can't trust her voice right now. She's better at expressing through actions than words anyway. The other girl hugged her tightly.

"Nobody called me for a group hug? I'm jealous." The two saw Jennie leaning by the wall with her arms crossed and small pout.

"Come here, you big baby." Rosé and Lisa chuckled, watching Jennie walking to them with a smile and joined in for a hug.

It felt warm and good, like home. But it wasn't quite a home for Lisa if Jisoo wasn't there. It was a bittersweet moment.

She missed home.

 


	16. Chapter 16

Jisoo can't stop fidgeting. 

When Irene told her the news, she wanted to go leave right away but now that they're in front of Jennie's unit, she was a nervous wreck.

A few more seconds and the door opened, revealing her best friend. 

Jennie greeted Irene and flitted her sight to Jisoo who was a step behind, not sure if it's alright to look at her best friend.

She tried showing a hint of smile and waving her hand, which Jennie acknowledged with a tight-lipped smile and a nod. She invited them in and made their way over to the living room.

And there she was, the girl she missed most, sitting at the sofa chair by the window. Lisa stood up as soon as she saw them come closer.

Jisoo's feet absentmindedly took her to Lisa without any hesitation, as if she was automatically drawn to her the moment she saw her.

They were inches apart and she was about to pull her into an embrace when Irene tugged at her sleeve, making her stop. 

She looked at her sister with a pained and confused expression, also flitting her eyes at her friends and back to Lisa, who was also wearing a frown.

"It's okay." Lisa glanced at Irene, to which she nodded and let go of Jisoo's coat. 

The girl didn't waste time and attached herself to Lisa, hugging her tightly, resting her face by her shoulder. Lisa hugged her back with great longing.

She could feel Jisoo's body shake in her arms.

"I missed you. I'm so sorry." The girl kept apologizing over and over again. Lisa broke their embrace and made her look at her, wiping the tears that escape her eyes. She held her face and gave a soft kiss on her forehead.

"Let's start." Irene spoke and guided Jisoo to sit at the sofa chair across of Lisa's. The other three settled themselves at the sofa.

"Jisoo, you were gonna tell them something, right?" She looked at Irene and nodded, cautiously studying her friends and Lisa.

"I want to apologize to all of you for acting the way I did." She paused, breathing deeply as she felt all eyes on her. "I don't have a valid reason that would make up to that."

"I'm sorry you had to see the monster in me..." She looked down at her hands, smiling bitterly at the fact that her inner demons have been revealed after being suppressed for so long.

"Especially to you, Lisa. You didn't deserve any of the bad things I did to you."

She dared to look at her once again, to express her sincerest apologies and regret. Lisa froze in her seat.

"I don't expect you to forgive me, but please know that I'm sincere and I'll do anything to fix everything. I'll make it up to you."

"You can't." It was loud enough for everyone to hear and everyone's eyes were all on Lisa, surprised at what she said.

"What do you mean?"

Lisa looked back at her girlfriend. Jisoo couldn't read her expression.

"You shouldn't do things for me. You shouldn't do it to fix us when you're broken yourself." Lisa heaved a deep sigh, shaking her head. "I can't let you do that."

She couldn't understand. What was she supposed to do?

Irene watched her as she pressed her temple and bit at her finger. Jisoo only does that when she's awfully distressed, which she saw a lot of times when they were young. 

Jisoo looked at her.

"What do I do?" Irene observed as she glanced at everyone.

Jennie and Rosie were clueless and helpless. They didn't know what was running inside Lisa's mind. It was hard to watch them, especially Jisoo. 

Jennie's never seen her best friend act like this. The incident that happened at the amusement park when they were young was almost too vague for her. She never knew what happened after Jisoo ran away and Irene had to usher her back inside the restaurant, to be with the adults. 

It took long before Jennie saw Jisoo again after that, but when she did, Jisoo seemed different and distant for the longest time until she was okay again, as they said. But she never thought her best friend was fully okay or back since then. She put the idea at the back of her mind.

She watched what was unraveling before her and it was a bit frustrating and scary for her. It almost seemed like Jisoo is losing her mind. 

They were startled when the girl stood up and made her way to her girlfriend. Jisoo knelt in front of her, making everyone caught of guard. Lisa glanced at them and made it clear that it was okay. She looked back at Jisoo.

"Please tell me what to do. Please help me." She begged, holding both of Lisa's hands close.

It hurt Lisa to see Jisoo like this but she had to stand her ground. She glanced back at Irene and saw her nod. They had their conversation about Jisoo's situation and she decided what to do.

She tucked the stray hair behind Jisoo's ear, with the girl leaning towards her touch. She took a deep breath while Jisoo waited for her to speak.

"You have to go to rehab, babe."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if anyone still reads this but if there's someone, thank you. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this story.


	17. Chapter 17

Jisoo just stared at her for a long while and everyone was worried she was going to lash out again. It was too quiet but Lisa could see the gears turning inside her head as she observed Jisoo.

"For how long?" It was almost like a whisper; a deep thought that escaped her lips.

"Until you get better. It could be six months to a year. It depends on your recovery."

She looked down on their hands that she held together, rubbing circles on Lisa's hand. The other girl grabbed both of hands and helped her stand up. She made her sit at the arm of the sofa.

"You want me to do it for myself." She looked up at the girl beside her and nodded.

"Do it for yourself and not for anyone else."

"I'll do it. I'll fix myself, then fix us." Jisoo was full of confidence and hope, which made Lisa smile. She knew she would understand.

The tension in the room was slowly lifted.

"We'll support you, unnie" Rosie and Jennie smiled at their friend, giving her strength. She wasn't alone in this.

She glanced back at her sister but something was off. She was still wearing a stoic expression, which made her uneasy.

Irene cleared her throat and tear her eyes away from the two.

"Jennie, Rosé, mind if we have a cup of coffee?" She nudged at the direction of the kitchen. The two took the hint.

"Not at all." Jennie stood up, and so did Rosé. "I'll prepare the coffee." The taller girl padded over to the kitchen, followed by her girlfriend and Irene.

"We'll leave you to talk. Lisa?" The girl understood and nodded. Jisoo was a bit confused but thankful for the privacy given to them. Lisa stood up and made them switch to the bigger sofa to be comfortable.

"I'll start rehab right away. You don't have to worry about me. I'll only be gone for a while. I'll make sure I'll recover fast."

She was trying to make it not as bad as it seem. She was quite unsure if she was trying to convince Lisa or herself, but it made her feel better.

"You take the time that you need. You don't have to rush it. Just make sure you recover."

She agreed and they stayed silent for a moment, just enjoying each other's presence. She noticed that her girlfriend was just staring at her. She couldn't point it out but it felt like there's something unusual about it.

"Is there something wrong?" Lisa was snapped out of her thoughts.

"I have to tell you something."

"You can tell it to me. I'm listening."

Lisa watched their entwined hands with a sad smile on her lips. It was always bittersweet.

She placed a soft kiss on the back of Jisoo's hand. She prodded her elbow on her thigh and rested her cheek over their hands. She looked at her with uncertainty.

"I'll wait for you, okay?" Jisoo was getting worried but she nodded. Lisa pursed her lips, thinking of things to say.

"You have to recover no matter what. It's for your own good."

"Of course"

"Promise me you'll take care of yourself?" Jisoo frowned.

"Why does this feel like you're saying good bye?"

"Just promise me okay?"

"I promise as long as you do the same." Lisa nodded with a smile.

Jisoo pulled her in a hug, "You'll visit me right?"

Lisa let out a shaky breath, hugging Jisoo tighter before letting go. She caressed her face, with her smile fading at every touch. Their eyes met and Jisoo saw sadness in them

"I'll have to go back to Seoul while you recover."

 


	18. Chapter 18

Her door opened but she didn't bother to look. She was too drained to even move.

 

"Aren't you going to eat? You haven't eaten anything since last night."

Jisoo didn't answer. Why bother? She doesn't have the appetite nor the interest to do anything at all. She's just waiting for the day that she goes to rehab so things will be over soon.

"Didn't you promise Lisa you'd take care of yourself? Looking at you now, you're already breaking the promise."

That caught her attention and made her eyes move to see her sister leaning against the door frame with her arms crossed.

"Why do people keep on leaving me, unnie? Is there something wrong with me?" Her voice was hoarse from crying and staying up all night. It was starting to hurt since she's getting dehydrated too.

Irene left her post and sat by Jisoo's side of the bed, fixing her hair to see her face better.

"Lisa isn't leaving you and there's nothing wrong with you either. She's just flying back to keep herself occupied. The past weeks have been tough on her too, you know."

She was too tired to think of anything else. Her anxiety and insecurities were getting too hard to handle each day. It's a surprise that her head hasn't exploded yet.

"Besides, she wants you to focus on your recovery. While you do that, she'll do things for herself. Explore stuff and work. You know how she is."

It's true. Lisa wanted to establish something without getting any help from her or from her family, especially her father, even though the whole family is fond of her already. If it was her choice, she'd just give everything Lisa needed, wanted and more. But a part of her also stops herself from discrediting Lisa of her hard work. She didn't want to hold back Lisa from her aspirations. If anything, she wanted to be there while Lisa continues to grow to the strong and amazing woman that she is.

Jisoo sighed and tried getting up from bed. Irene just watched her slowly walking towards the door.

"Did you make anything good? I'm hungry."

She smiled, following the small girl. "Check the dining table. Your favorite is there."

If Jisoo knew who made the food, she knows the girl would eat them right away, regardless if the food was good or not.

\----------

"Hey, it's time to leave. The car is ready and so are all of your stuff. We have to meet them up at the airport." Jennie smiled at her sadly. She slowly nodded and the girl left her for a moment to get everything all set.

She almost didn't want to move. This makes everything more real and if she doesn't step out of the room, she knew she'd go running to Jisoo and stay.

But she had to do this for the both of them. She doesn't have the leisure of time to think things all over again when she was the one who suggested and decided it in the first place. She had to own it up and face whatever happens.

In this case, she had to be the strong one for the both of them.

She put on her coat and went downstairs to follow Rosé and Jennie waiting at the car.

Nights before, she successfully sneaked out of Jennie's unit to go to her and Jisoo's shared unit upstairs. She could just tell the couple she visits her place but then she wanted no one to know. She wanted to be alone even just for a while. She wanted to savor the remaining days before she leaves for Seoul.

But it wasn't the same home she comes home to if Jisoo wasn't there. The place, even though was kept clean and maintained since she last saw it, felt emptier than it had ever been. Nonetheless, she spent her few nights laying on the side of her bed in Jisoo's room, staring into nothing.

The scent filled the room but Jisoo's warmth can't be found. It felt colder as she brushed her hand against the spot Jisoo usually sleeps in.

Every night that she visits, she leaves the unit taking something with her that is either special for them or is Jisoo's possession. It made her feel a bit comforted that she's taking something with her that has Jisoo's presence in it.

The ride to the airport felt too long. The agony of leaving the place where they thought they'd start something new together was there, together with the agony of facing Jisoo one last time before they part ways to face their lives on their own for a long while.

Every step she took inside the airport terminal felt heavier, making her feel like not wanting to leave anymore.

Her strong and composed facade must've faltered a bit when her eyes laid on the petite girl standing a few feet away from her, looking and feeling smaller when she looked back at her.

"We'll just be behind both of you. You've got time before your boarding time." Irene squeezed her arm and left them, making Lisa inch closer to Jisoo.

Their arms linked automatically once they were side by side. Maybe a body language they're used to doing ever since they got together.

"Let's walk?" She smiled softly at the girl and she smiled back, not saying a word while they walked slowly around the lobby.

No one knew what to say. What would you say to someone you didn't want to leave behind? What would you say to someone you want to stay so bad? Their minds were screaming questions left unsaid, and maybe it was the best thing to do; to leave them inside their troubled minds.

"You liked the fried chicken I cooked the other day?"

Jisoo perked up at the question, staring at Lisa like a child. She can't help the little pout forming on her lips. She knew the taste was too familiar.

"I loved it. I ate them all." 

Despite the big smile, Lisa noticed the quiver in her voice but she chose to ignore it. She beamed at the fact that she was still eating after all, even if it was becoming obvious that Jisoo has been losing weight. She must be having trouble sleeping too at the sight of dark circles on her eyes that have been covered up by make up.

"I'll practice more on cooking so I can prepare you better tasting meals. When you're all recovered, I'll cook you a feast. Deal?"

"I'll look forward to that. I can't wait already."

It was heartwarming to see the smiles they shared.

They were both excited at the thought of their future together even if it will take some time. Jisoo leaned closer to her, resting her head on her arm.

When they were closer to a restricted area, they paused and went by the corner, snapping them to the reality that they're minutes away until they're separated miles away from each other.

Lisa faced Jisoo, tucking strands of hair behind her ears, taking in every detail of her face so she'll remember her perfectly. 

"You remember what I told you right? All of them?" The girl nodded, staring back at her with the same longing eyes.

"I'll be fine. You should be the one taking care of yourself."

Lisa only smiled. Every word spoken is inching them closer to the bitter good bye. She noticed the tears forming from Jisoo's eyes.

Jisoo bit her lip for a second before speaking again.

"Let's break up, Lisa."

She froze. 

Was she hearing things or is she getting delusional? Is this a dream?

"What-" Jisoo shook her head, interrupting her from speaking.

"I can't hold you back from getting real happiness. I can't do that to you. I love you too much to take that away from you. As you leave everything in L.A., I'm setting you free."

Confused was an understatement. Jisoo was smiling genuinely at her through her tears and it was unknown to her that tears were also continuously flowing from her own eyes.

"But I love you, Jisoo. I don't- I can't..." The girl went in for a crushing embrace. This was their last moments after all, and she's not sure when she'll be getting to do this again.

"And I love you too, so much. You don't even know."

Lisa couldn't form sentences anymore as the two of them become a crying mess in front of each other. Rosé and Jennie were crying too as they stood a distance from them. Irene stood her ground, taking note of the time.

Jisoo broke from the embrace and studied her features one last time, caressing her soft tear-stained cheeks. She held her face and brought her closer to hers, capturing her lips in a kiss.

"I'll see you again after all this. I'll look for you wherever you may be." She took a breath in between sobs, trying to wipe away the tears from Lisa's cheeks.

"And if your heart still beats for me by then, I'll never let you go again. That's a lifetime promise."

They kissed and embraced longer one last time before they parted ways. It was bittersweet how airports are their thing, but this time, it closed to a sad ending chapter of their lives.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...there's that. Tell me your thoughts in the comments! There are 3 chapters left for Hiraeth :)


	19. Chapter 19

It has been tough living alone again and going back to square one in establishing herself back up, but she's sure she's not the only one having it hard so she made sure to focus on herself to distract her mind from thinking of  _her_.

Lisa was almost done with double checking the kitchen and the storage when she heard the front door open, with the chimes ringing.

"Sorry, we're still closed!" Lisa closed her inventory and walked out of the room to check who came in, feeling relieved it wasn't some burglar or any suspicious person. She smiled at the girl walking towards her.

"Hey bub." The girl gave her a quick hug and small peck on her cheeks. She returned the hug, giving her a small pat in the back.

"Hey, what are you doing here so late?"

"I was looking for you. What are  _you_  doing here so late?" The girl leaned back against the counter, watching the other girl fix her stuff from the table.

"I was just checking everything before tomorrow's launch. You know, taking care of my baby."

The girl walked towards the table and sat down, while Lisa did the same.

"Ah such a hardworking girl. You could've asked me to help so it would've been easier for you."

"Somi, you've already helped me a lot, from starting my business to putting up this second branch. Besides, it's just some inventory I needed to monitor. It's not that big of a task."

"I'm not counting the times I've helped you, you know? I don't mind it a bit."

"Well, I do. Just let me do things. You have your own stuff to manage, kid."

Lisa winked and stood up, slinging her bag on her shoulder and pointing Somi to the door to follow her. The younger girl huffed, but followed the older girl.

"I'm not a kid..." The tall girl heard her whisper but she chose to ignore it. They continued walking side by side, continuing their little chats.

But what she didn't notice was someone watching them from a distance inside a sedan, far enough not to be seen. 

The car's engine started and went on its way on the road, going to the same direction where Lisa and Somi walked off to.

It's been a usual thing for them to walk together at night. The younger one would sometimes come with her car but Lisa prefers walking. It makes her clear her mind for a while, or maybe it makes her think of certain things. It's not all the time that Somi comes and accompanies her to going home. Lisa wouldn't allow it even if the girl would insist. She became used to being alone that at some point she enjoyed it.

It makes her feel a sense of independence and solitude that lets her appreciate what she has at the moment. It makes her grateful of the present times. She enjoys the time when all noise silence down once it hits nine in the evening. It's like a reminder that all the busy things going on died down to rest and she's back to checking herself and what happened for the rest of the day.

"I guess this is all for tonight." Somi entered the black vehicle in front and opened the car window. "Good night, Lisa."

"Good night. Say hi to your dad from me. Also tell him, thank you."

"For the nth time, Miss Manoban? I told you it's no big deal. A businessman knows potential when he sees one." 

She waved her off, making Lisa laugh and shake her head. She waited for the car to leave before entering her own apartment.

It was silent as usual in her own little space but she liked it. It doesn't feel as empty as it used to before.

After taking a quick shower, she plopped down on her bed, staring at the pink bunny plushie sitting on her bedside table. She smiles.

"I'm not sure how long it has been, Kaji. I didn't notice that I've stopped counting. Is that bad?"

She softly chuckled to herself for talking to an inanimate object. Nonetheless, she continued it.

"I have no idea how all of them are right now. I haven't been checking messages for a long time. I guess I've been too busy."

Her eyes flickered to the drawer of the bedside table, remembering the last thing she placed in there. She hasn't opened it since then.

_She was about to open the door when she noticed a bunch of mail by her doorstep. The bills came in and she couldn't help the sigh escaping her lips. She picked them all at once and entered her small apartment._

_It's been rough for her in her first month back in Seoul since she left L.A. She knows she couldn't be miserable forever so she tried her best to get back up even if things still haunted her. She was here to fix herself too while Jisoo recovers._

_It's been three months now. Three months and twenty one days...and two hours to be exact. She's been counting and she's not sure why. It helped her in some way, like it reminded her that she's still continuing her life alone, doing what she wants and looking for things she loves._

_She arranged and checked the bills on her table, seeing if her savings are still meeting the bills. She declined any financial help from her friends even if they're willing to share huge amounts of money to help in paying the bills, telling her that she could pay them back anytime when she earns something but it still didn't settle well with her. Tempting, but she said no._

_One envelope caught her attention. It was different from the others and there was no indication to where it came from. She cautiously opened it, seeing a folded letter in it._

_It's different._

_She opened it and the moment her eyes land on the content of the letter, she knew right away where it came from. She knew that handwriting so well._

_Dearest Lisa,_

_How are you? I hope you're doing well back there in Seoul. Is it hot there now? I suddenly missed Seoul... Anyway, I've been doing alright here. You must be surprised about this letter. We had a sharing activity the other week and I realized that I should tell it about you. I want you to know._

_I told Irene to go back there too. Korea's sweetheart shouldn't be away for too long, am I right? Jennie and Rosie have been visiting me every weekend. I told them they don't have to, but I guess a stubborn person like me has stubborn friends too. It's really sweet of them but really, I'm fine over here...compared to how I was._

_I won't make this long. It dawned on me that you've been patient with me even though you were dying to know, dying for me to open up. Let me tell you._

_Our mom left us when I was too young. I didn't understand why and nobody would tell me the reason either. They keep telling me she went to some place I won't be able to go to. They distracted me with things so I would stop asking about her but they didn't really succeed. I couldn't accept it._

_One day, I saw her at an amusement park where I was with my family, and I knew that she saw me too. It was all too fast but I went running after her, screaming and calling her. She looked back at me like she didn't know me; like I was nothing to her and something in the glint of her eyes feels like disgust... It was the only thing I kept seeing in my dreams for a long time. I was haunted and my sisters saw the horrors of it._

_I was the one affected most and dad couldn't just let me get worse._ _I went through therapy for a few years and my family were all supportive. It helped me get better but as I aged until my teen years, there's still a part of me longing for my mom, looking for answers. That's why when I finished my degree in Korea, I flew to L.A. to take up masters degree and also look for her after finding out that she moved there. But then it didn't go well as I hoped._

_It wrecked me again...probably worse than before and I blame myself for being a fool that she'd be happy to see me years after. I worked so hard to be someone she'll be proud of but I didn't get that recognition. So it's time for me to let go of it and start working hard to be someone I'll be proud of. I'm doing all of these for myself, my friends and family, and you._

_Don't wait for me, Lisa. As I work on my recovery, I wish you well on your endeavors. When we meet again, I'll be looking at you with a big smile because by then, I'm strong enough and you will be too. And we'll be both proud of ourselves._

_Live not just for the sake of living. I know you'll find out for yourself and you'll be happy you did._

_Here ends my letter. I'll be seeing you._

_Terribly missing you and greatly rooting for you,_

_-Jisoo_

She stayed silent for the whole time recalling the memory. It was like a wake up call she needed to boost her drive. Since then, she's been working hard until she met Somi and her dad, who generously helped her in putting up the business she dreamed of. It wasn't easy but she made it.

She smiled softly, eyes slowly shutting to sleep.

Everything was in their place.  _She_  was right; she did find out and now she could say that she's happy and content.


	20. Chapter 20

"Huh.."

Lisa murmured to herself, eyebrows meeting into a frown as she scanned the data in front of her. She tapped the pencil against her lips, with her mind deep in thought.

"Your business is booming."

Somi looked over Lisa's shoulder, who was busy studying the stats of her new branch on her laptop.

"It's only one month old but the difference is quite noticeable..." Lisa mused as she scrolled down to see more details. Somi scoffed.

"Noticeable? It's very obvious there, bub." Lisa laughed softly. Somi moved over and sat beside the busy girl.

"I guess this was a good strategic place to put the second branch? It's a hit."

"It is. There was one time that I was in the branch to check and I found your staffs working under pressure because apparently, someone ordered twenty large boxes of wings and drumsticks. It was during peak hours too so it got pretty hectic."

"So that was true. I thought there was just some wrong input in here..." Lisa turned to see Somi with wide eyes. The girl nodded.

"And it was just an order from one person. Can you believe that?"

"That's quite unbelievable but it's reflecting the audit... Maybe they had a party or something." She shrugged.

"Ten also said it also happened a few times already. You might have to give that person a big discount next time or a membership card." Somi chuckled as she went on and grabbed two cans of soda from the fridge, tossing the other one to Lisa.

She opened the can and took a big gulp, face crunching at the sparkling feeling going down her throat.

"That's crazy but I don't mind. Looks like I snatched a regular customer."

"Well, cheers to Freakin' Chicken for the great start of its second branch."

They both clinked their canned sodas together, spending the rest of the night chatting up about anything like they usually do and it's nice. 

Everything's nice. Just alright.

Until it got so routine-like that it felt a bit boring to her. It is fun and she's glad that her business is going well, but what now? What's next?

What is there for her to discover?

Should she start venturing on another business? Maybe.

Should she go on a vacation and spend a good time alone somewhere in a nice beach resort?

Sounds good, but maybe too early for her to lay off the monitoring of her new branch. Knowing Somi, she'll surely push her to go and leave it all to her.

And then it suddenly hits her out of nowhere.

Her friends.

It felt like forever since they talked. It almost feels like she abandoned them. Maybe they thought of that already, which she couldn't blame them. It makes her a bit hesitant to reach out now, ever since she started declining all the calls and ignoring the messages sent her way.

She shut them out until they stopped reaching out too, and it became ordinary for her to just focus on herself and her present as she left all those things behind her in the past.

Lisa doesn't know what got into her but the next thing she knew was absentmindedly sending a message to one of them, hoping it's still the phone number they're using.

And it didn't disappoint when she got a response just minutes after.

\------

She scanned around the small coffee shop and it didn't take long before her eyes catch the figure of who she's looking for.

She was nervous as she walked up to her, clearing her throat to get her attention.

All worries vanished when the girl looked up at her with her signature smile, eyes almost disappearing into thin lines.

"And the girl decides to show herself!"

Seulgi takes her in a crushing embrace, which she accepts gracefully with a soft chuckle. They settle themselves in their seats after a few more gentle squeezes, with smiles still plastered on their faces.

"I thought you were never gonna talk to me. I've been waiting for so long after all that's happened."

She watched Lisa as she rested in her chair, noting the small escape of breath the girl released while quickly avoiding her gaze for a moment.

"Of course not. I just had to do things on my own because I know you'll keep on worrying about me."

"I was still worried, alright. You don't even know how much I bugged Irene and the others to tell me about you. You didn't even call me when you got back here in Seoul!"

Seulgi pouted but Lisa could see the hint of disappointment in her eyes for shutting her out. She couldn't help the apologetic smile she sent her way.

She took a sip of the iced coffee that has been sitting on the table.

"It just got a little crazy back then, unnie. I didn't want to burden anyone with it."

There was something about the way Seulgi looked at her.

Was it pity? More like worry.

She mentally laughed at herself at how she knows her like a soul sister. She still hasn't changed.

"I don't mind it and you know that. I just don't want you getting all through that alone."

And with that, she smiled and nodded at the sincerity of her words. She was grateful that Seulgi still patiently waited on her, giving her the utmost understanding she could offer even though she practically forgot about all of them.

Maybe it was the growing insecurity of having to trust anyone, when all the walls came rising up around her, growing bigger and thicker that no one could even break through it.

But it was so easy for just one person to crash through them with just a simple letter. A paper full with words that she only listened to - making her open up to people again, even though it wasn't with her friends.

It helped her open up to new beginnings even though it wasn't with her. She was glad for all of it, but maybe a little voice inside her head still tells her she'd be happier if she went all through these ups and downs with her.

"It's been more than a year already. Hit me up with the updates, monkey. I cleared up my morning schedule for you."

She can't help the laugh escaping her lips as the older girl smirked and beamed at her like a cute bear that she is. They fall into comfortable conversation, talking about what happened for the past moments that they haven't been talking.

Ever since she moved to L.A., a lot of things changed for the both of them and they managed to update each other from time to time until things fell apart.

It was such a great feeling when it felt so easy for her to open up again to an old friend that she missed so much, lifting up the worries that she kept for months.

She was lucky she still got people like Seulgi around her even after all those that had happened. Maybe in another time, she'll have the courage to face the others as well after having ghosted on them for a year and a half.

Lisa was caught out of the conversation when she received a text message from Somi.

"I have to go to the new branch in Hongdae. Do you wanna come with me and take a look? Lunch is on Freakin' Chicken."

Seulgi giggled at the store's catchy name. It was indeed a name Lisa could've thought of.

"Maybe next time. I already have an appointment for lunch until later."

"Is this an appointment with the nation's model, Ms. Bae?"

Lisa teased her at the creeping blush on Seulgi's cheeks, making the older girl more embarrassed and covered her face.

"Just get out of here already, you monkey!" She threw a crumpled napkin at her.

The younger girl stood up and made way to hug the older girl, staying like that for a moment before releasing the hug.

"Say my regards to Irene unnie. Perhaps I'll be able to reach out to her too some other time." Seulgi nodded and didn't push any further. She knows Lisa will get around it on her own as long as she was given the space she needed.

They parted ways with lighter hearts. Hours spent catching up wasn't enough to make up for the long time of absence around each other. Lisa's sure she'll make some more time to get all those lost time and make up for her friends.

One step at a time.

\------ 

Somi was paying a visit to the chicken place so Lisa didn't think much of it. She does have her random visits and on site monitoring on her restaurants to see how they do during certain hours of the day without the staff's knowledge.

She thought it was better to see them on actual work than telling them beforehand that she's going to visit the stores. It's work hours so she expects them to be focusing on it rather than making a fuss of her doing rounds.

So when she entered the store in Hongdae from the other entrance, her crew continued their work, only paying her quick bows to greet her as the owner. It didn't take long before Somi goes out from the back to meet her in one of the reserved tables by the corner.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Nothing much. Dad just wants me to personally give you these files you asked for. He said it was for some study you've been doing for marketing and other stuff."

The younger girl tapped the thick bundle of file enveloped on the table. Lisa was surprised with the amount of stacked papers in front of her.

"Oh wow. Tell him I said thanks. These are a lot!"

"Also if you're free, he can discuss them with you. Just give him a call. Anyway, I just dropped by for these. I have to go do some other errands he told me to do."

"Wait. Did you have lunch already?"

"Yeah I did finish a few moments ago. Also paid for them." Somi winked at her smugly.

"Well I'm glad." She teased, but she didn't really mind if she treated her a few meals out of gratitude.

Lisa instructed one of her staffs to get the files and take it to the small office in the back while she and Somi bid good byes.

"Oh before I go! Someone was looking for you in there. I was told you know each other. She's waiting by one of the tables on the other side."

"Who?"

"I don't know. I didn't get to ask her name. You'll know when you meet her. "

Somi waved her good bye and Lisa sent her off before entering back in the store.

Time for lunch was almost over so people are slowly coming in and out of the restaurant.

She instantly thought of people who'd visit her. No one tried to give her a heads up so she doesn't have a clue. The only people she's been talking to lately are the same people and Seulgi.

So when she got back in the dining area of the store, she doesn't really know who she's looking for. Thankfully, it wasn't that crowded anymore so it's easier for her to scan the people in there to see who she's familiar with.

_Waiting by one of the tables on the other side..._

She hummed to herself, eyes darting to each table with a customer, walking by the aisle to get a better glimpse of their faces just in case she might miss the person she's been looking for.

But she can't seem to find the person Somi was talking about.

_Maybe she already left?_

As soon as she finishes scanning the whole area, she frowned to herself. Maybe the person couldn't wait for long and left. It might have bothered her a bit but she let it go and shrugged.

Lisa was about to go back to her office when she takes a whiff of a familiar scent that she hasn't encountered for a long while. 

It was so unique yet so familiar that it almost makes her disoriented for a second.

And maybe it made her hesitant to find out who wears that scent.

She felt her heart quicken at the thought.

Slowly, she turned around even though it felt like the hard beating of her heart seemed to be drumming in her ears too. It silenced out the noise surrounding her from the store.

It's like hearing everything and nothing at the same time.

Her eyes start checking out everyone from the time she turned her head to every person in that particular area.

An old couple, a small family, and a group of teenagers are what registered in her vision. In her peripheral vision, she could see another table occupied way back at the corner that she almost missed it if she wasn't careful enough observing.

Almost like on autopilot, her legs started moving towards that direction to get closer. Her mind was clouded, unsure of what to think or do even though her body was on its own will.

And it was at exact fifteen steps away from the spot, the image clears out - an image of a girl taking photos of the food laid out on her table, as if she's going to start an eating show at the amount of dishes in front of her.

It wasn't registering to her right away and the next thing she knew, she was eight steps closer to her.

Probably the closest she's ever been to her for the longest time.

The closest she's ever been at this very second of her life and it suddenly sinks in to her when she saw her smiling, seemingly satisfied of the photos she took on her phone.

That particular smile that mesmerized her from the very start.

Lisa freezes on her spot, carefully looking at the scene before her eyes. She closed her eyes twice, trying to see if she's seeing the right things or it's just her sleep deprived self doing tricks on her right now, because it's almost impossible to be witnessing this.

How?

Their eyes meet and she doesn't know what to do.

She stood there like a dumb fool, staring at the person looking back at her.

Slowly, she made small steps towards the table where she's at, making her way closer to the girl she kept longing for in her dreams every single night.

She smiled at Lisa and now she felt like crying at how everything is getting so overwhelming for her.

"Hi."

_Hi? That's all she got to say after not meeting for almost two years? Is she crazy? I'm so close to tears and she says hi?_

_This is unbelievable!_

She stayed silent and took a seat across of her, mind full of thoughts and not sure what to say back.

"You're here." 

She managed to say in a small voice. It might be rude to stare but she's doing it anyway to help her sanity at bay.

"Yes, I am," She said firmly as she stared back at Lisa with her lips still tugged in a warm smile, "I'm sure that was a promise I told you before we separated ways."

Of course she knew about that promise. How could she forget? It was a memory instilled in the deepest parts of her mind that she tried to ignore for months.

To be honest, she still doesn't know how to respond to that straightforward intention. So her eyes snap down to the variety of food in front of them as if they were the most interesting things she's ever seen.

"Are these all for you?"

The girl was switching to nodding and shrugging, realizing that it was all to much for a person to consume. Even more for a petite person like her.

"It won't be if you'd join me for lunch?"

And that takes Lisa off guard again by the everlasting charm of the great Kim Jisoo.

She studies her as if she'd been the most confusing puzzle when in fact, it might just be Lisa getting all messed up with her sudden appearance. It's like they never parted with the way Jisoo acts around her.

The other girl raises her brows at her, waiting for a response aside from the blatant staring.

"What do you think? Would you like to eat all these Freakin' Chicken with me?"

Lisa couldn't help the erratic beating of her heart at the sight of Jisoo scrunching her nose in the cutest way possible, paired up with her soft chuckles.

Jisoo offers her a plate with a few servings of drumsticks and maybe she knew she couldn't escape her persistence when she accepts it with a smile tugging on her lips.

Everything fell into place easily just like a normal day for lunch together. It might've been odd for some people, but to them it was like the other times that Jisoo came back for vacation from L.A.

They didn't talk about what happened while she was in rehab, nor talked about their current relationship status. Jisoo was too excited to hear everything about Lisa's business endeavors and present life in Seoul.

As usual, the bickering was still there, especially that Jisoo kept teasing Lisa about the name of her chicken place, which the older girl doesn't have any idea that it was inspired by her in the first place.

Freakin' Chicken - It's very obvious. Come on!

Despite all the teasing she got, Lisa could feel her heart swell at the sight of her muse enjoying the food she learned to cook and tastes she came up with. It finally felt more rewarding to her that one of the reasons she pursued this was also loving it.

They were interrupted when Jisoo's phone went ringing and took a quick break from their conversation to take the call.

When the call ended, the girl looked at her with an apologetic smile.

"I have to go. I enjoyed too much of my time here, I didn't notice it's already been three hours."

"Oh- it's fine. I wasn't aware of the time either."

"I only told them I'll only go out for a quick lunch. Sorry!" There was a small pout forming on her lips and Lisa could see the hesitation from the other girl to leave.

Jisoo hasn't changed- or maybe the Jisoo she knew was back.

"Don't mind it. Of course, it's alright. You don't have to apologize. I had a great time."

She was a bit surprised by the last bit but she couldn't take it back now. How could she take it back when Jisoo beams at her like a precious happy little kid?

It got a bit awkward when no one wanted to say good bye. Jisoo was about to say something but she decided not to, opting for a quick nod and her thumb pointing to the side instead, trying to tell her that she's off to go.

Perhaps, Lisa wanted her to continue what she was about to say. Maybe she wanted to hear what she was thinking before they part ways again. Because who knows when would be the next time they'll see each other once more?

But then she lets Jisoo go and she stayed glued to her seat, staring into nothing as she hears the faint footsteps of her walking away.

Is this how it should end?

She balled her fist, with her face turning into a frown. And the next thing she knows is she was standing hastily from her seat, not minding the few quick looks thrown at her when the sudden motion created noise and attracted attention.

She made use of her long strides to catch up with the girl who just left the restaurant. It felt like déjà vu once again when she thought of that memory of her running after Jisoo in the airport years back.

She finally caught up with the girl and gently grips on her arm. Jisoo was surprised at the sudden contact but eased down when she saw who it was.

Worry paints Jisoo's face while both of them stood there just trying to read each other. What was Lisa supposed to say? Her body reacted faster than her mind coming up with words to say.

"This is not the last time we'll be seeing each other right? We're going to meet again?"

It almost sounded like pleading but it was the only thing that came out of her. Her nerves were starting to get the best of her.

Jisoo got her arm out of Lisa's grip and went on to hold her hand instead.

"Of course, Lisa. I'd love that." She gave her hand a gentle squeeze, "As long as you want me to, I would see you every single day."

"Good." Lisa got flustered and immediately regretted letting go of Jisoo's hand. She missed the warmth that came from the contact. The other girl didn't seem to mind.

"Don't worry, I won't push myself to you nor I'd force anything that you don't want to do." Jisoo assured her with all sincerity, "All that matters to me now is that you still want me in your life."

Lisa was left speechless, nonetheless she understood what Jisoo meant and it was more than okay with her. She didn't think of rushing things anyway, now that they're finally back in each other's lives.

"So, I'll see you tomorrow lunch?"

"Yes. It's a daily lunch date, if you're up for it?"

Lisa wasn't holding back anymore. So much time has been wasted on being apart for too long, and this time she wanted to spend as much time as she could with the girl she missed most.

"Always up for it, Miss Manoban." Jisoo winked, and both of them fell into laughter. She didn't question it anymore. If anything, she's more than lucky that Lisa and her were on the same page.

"I won't hold you for long anymore. Take care on your way." She waved her to go but the girl stood still on her spot.

Jisoo took a two steps closer - real close that Lisa was unsure what was happening.

There was a strong force between them that pulls them together even more.

The older girl looked up at her shyly, with her eyes studying her face closer and back to meeting the hazel eyes that was staring back at her.

"Can I get a hug?"

It was soft but Lisa heard it clearly, and she didn't waste any second as soon as the words registered in her mind.

She pulled her close like she used to, almost instinctively. The funny thing is Jisoo didn't even have to ask. The girl could've come running to her in a bone-crushing hug and Lisa would've given it back without a second thought. That's how their bodies would automatically move around each other.

Jisoo's head rests just above Lisa's shoulder, and their hands found their way around each other's bodies like puzzle pieces that fit perfectly. The moment that their scents filled each other's senses, that's when it hit them.

They longed for this and now they're back in each other's arms. The way they'd pull each other closer - if that's even possible on how tight the embrace is - could attest to how they've been waiting for this very moment.

And if they're to describe what they're feeling, it's stronger than it has ever been.

With eyes closed, no one dared to talk and just stayed like that for a while, with tears escaping down to their cheeks without the other knowing, feeling like the weight kept for so long was lifted.

The words I missed you weren't enough. No words were enough to describe the feeling, the pain they went through and the joy they're experiencing.

The only language that both of them could understand right now is the comfort of being in each other's presence.

"I'm glad you're back home." Lisa whispered just for her to hear.

Jisoo couldn't agree more; but then to her, Lisa was home and she's right where she's supposed to be.


	21. Epilogue

Jisoo was walking casually with a medium sized box in her hands, entering the building of her shared apartment with her girlfriend, when she jolts in surprise as her phone started ringing again.

She groans at the constant buzzing and ringing of the device and sets the box down for a moment to answer it.

"For the nth time, stop calling me Jennie Ruby Jane Kim. I'm in some kind of situation here and I prefer not to be disturbed." She groaned and let out a breath, hearing the amused chuckle of her friend. 

"If this is something unimportant, I'm going to make you regret it. Now, what do you want?"

"My god, chill out okay? I just wanna ask if you guys want to meet up tonight? Rosie and I miss you two."

"And that... is the urgent thing you wanted to say?"

"Yes, it is. We're very important to you both and we know that."

"I knew you guys were clingy but I didn't know you couldn't wait for me to get settled and call you back. That's it. I'm putting you both back for adoption and that's final!"

Jisoo said, rather dramatically. She can feel Jennie rolling her eyes and stifling her laugh from the other line. She also heard a faint shout from Rosie saying,  _"You're stuck with us. You can't do that!"_

"So what, grumpy?"

"If you two are offering me your first born, then I will reconsider." Jisoo smirked.

"Whatever, unnie. Just give me a heads up so we could prepare. And you should drink some water to calm down your nerves. I can feel your antsy ass through the phone."

"Stop feeling my antsy ass. Lisa wouldn't appreciate that." She and her best friend chuckled at the horrible joke, "I'll have to ask her first then update you."

"Alright, sounds good."

"Tell Rosie I miss her too. Bye!"

"What about m-"

Jisoo ended the call with a snicker, grabbing the box from the floor again to finally go back to their apartment.

She entered the door without letting her presence known, quietly tiptoeing across the hall, cautiously looking around so she wouldn't be caught. She carefully held the box in front of her like her life depended on it.

"What are you doing?" A voice spoke, making her jump in surprise, mentally cursing herself for slightly shaking the box in the process.

She took a deep breath, mumbling to herself, before turning around and meeting the other girl with a grin.

"Hi!" She greeted, probably too enthusiastic than she usually does. The other girl looked at her suspiciously.

"Hi? What's that?" 

"It's....a box." She grinned and it was too awkward.

"Way to state the obvious. What's inside the box, Miss Kim?" Lisa raised a brow, challenging the girl in front of her. 

"Nothing. Just an empty box."

Lisa nodded amusingly, crossing her arms in front of her chest, acting interested at the whole situation. "So you go around carrying an empty box with utmost care?"

"...Yes?" She cringed amidst the fake smile but clearly, Lisa wasn't having it. "What is it?"

Jisoo sighed, bowing down her head.

"It's a surprise for you." She heard a gasp and as soon as she looked at Lisa, she saw her with a mouth agape like a child excited for Christmas.

"Really? What is it? What's the occasion?"

Lisa kept peeking over Jisoo, trying to see what she was hiding behind her. The smaller girl did her best for the tall girl not to see anything, whatever it takes.

"Why can't you just- LET ME SEE." 

The tall girl craned her neck over to see the box but Jisoo crouched down to the floor and covered it with her whole body to stop the girl from taking it. She swatted the girl's arms and tried to scare her off by threatening to bite her hands if she ever comes close.

"You're so impatient, Miss Manoban. Calm down, will you?" Jisoo chuckled while Lisa surrendered beside her, sitting on the floor with a huff and a pout.

"Are you calm and collected now? I won't give it to you if you're gonna keep on attacking me. You're very tall and strong compared to me, you know?"

Lisa cracked a smile, proceeding to soft giggles at the fact. Her girlfriend is indeed small, especially now that she's watching her crouched over the box. It's too cute.

She nodded, "Yes, I'll stop attacking you now."

"Good. Now, I'll only give this to you if you stay there on your spot and close your eyes. It's a surprise after all, so we better keep the thrill."

The other girl immediately cooperated. Without another word, she closed her eyes shut. Jisoo tried waving in front of her face to check then back to her spot.

Quietly, Jisoo turned to the box then opens it, taking out the surprise from inside. She carefully checks it if it's still in perfect shape then places it in her arms before turning back around to face Lisa.

"You can open your eyes now."

Lisa removed her hands from her face and opened her eyes. Once she saw what Jisoo was holding, she gasped and covered her mouth with her hands.

"Oh my god. Is this for real?" 

Jisoo nodded, beaming at the girl who was still speechless. She walked closer to let Lisa have a better look at it. The other girl carefully took it from her arms.

"So beautiful..." The little kitten purred and nuzzled against Lisa's touch as she held him closer to her face, "Hello, baby."

Jisoo sat with them and just watched Lisa interact with the little fur ball. She took a few shots from her phone's camera to save this adorable moment.

"What are you gonna call him?"

Lisa turned to her with excitement, "I get to name him?"

"Of course. He's my gift to you." She took a turn to pet the kitten in her girlfriend's arms.

Lisa was quiet for a moment, staring at the little face of the kitten.

"Let's call him Leo." Jisoo agreed. Lisa carried Leo and placed a kissed on his face, "You're my baby Leo."

She smiles as it seems that Leo has taken a liking for her too, getting playful as minutes passed by. She gushed over the small details of the cute kitten, starting from the distinct eyes, folded ears, little paws and cute pink nose.

She stops when she saw an object attached to his collar.

"Wait- what's this in his neck? It might be owned by someone in the shelter you adopted him from." She showed Jisoo the said object and the girl took the kitten from Lisa's hands, putting him on her lap to remove the object. 

It was a necklace with round rose gold floating locket with crystals cladding the lining of it. Inside the locket were silver charms in shapes of a heart, paper plane, and a house. Behind the charms was a rose gold plate with words engraved on it.

When she successfully took it, she put the little kitten down on the floor and let him roam around the flat. She held the object with her fingers and studied it before laying eyes on the other girl watching her with a confused expression. Jisoo placed the necklace in her pocket.

"Is it yours?"

"Nope."  _It's yours._

She looked at Lisa endearingly. Her heart kept hammering against her chest and maybe it's a bit too hard to concentrate.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

Jisoo moved closer in front of her. They sat across of each other with thoughts running in their heads. The older girl gently took her hand and held it, rubbing the back of it with her thumb.

"Live with me. Let's build a home together."

"We do live together, Jisoo. What do you mean?"

Jisoo took Lisa's other hand and she held both of them in hers, pulling them closer to her mouth, gently brushing her lips on them. She looked up at Lisa with eyes full of mixed emotions that the younger girl couldn't read.

There was a tinge of worry in them but the look of happiness and love overpowered it. It made Lisa a bit nervous which the older girl noticed. She smiled to calm her nerves and she smiles back at Jisoo.

"You've been my home from the time I realized I love you, until we got together and lived in L.A., and even at the time when we were miles apart."

"Now that you're here with me again, I want to remind you of the promise I made before."

_"I'll see you again after all this. I'll look for you wherever you may be... And if your heart still beats for me by then, I'll never let you go again. That's a lifetime promise."_

Lisa remembers it like it was just yesterday even though two years have already passed. It was one of the moments she engraved in her mind and kept in her heart for so long. She held on to that promise even if Jisoo told her to not wait on her.

"You're still the one this crazy heart beats madly for, and I never want to let you go again." 

Jisoo retrieves the necklace from her pocket, staring at the charms and the words inside the locket.

" _My love, my adventure, my home._  I don't mind going on a long challenging journey. As long as I'm with you, I'm content. I'll never be homesick again."

She turns the shining locket around, revealing an engraved ring from the back of it. Lisa gasps in surprise, with tears forming in her eyes. Jisoo removes the simple rose gold dainty diamond ring and holds it in front of Lisa.

"Let me fulfill my lifetime promise with you by loving and cherishing every moment I'll spend with you for the rest of my life. Will you marry me, Lisa?"

The younger girl bit her lip, keeping herself from sobbing. 

"Yes, of course. Yes! I'll marry you, Kim Jisoo." She nodded frantically when she couldn't help the tears flowing down her blushing cheeks.

Jisoo smiled widely that her cheeks hurt but she didn't mind at all. She took Lisa's hand and slipped the ring through her finger, fitting in perfectly with Lisa's beautiful hand. She kissed the back of it and pulled her in an embrace.

"I love you so much" Jisoo hugged her tighter, feeling the crazy beating of her heart and Lisa's together.

"I know," She pulled out from the embrace and cupped Jisoo's face in her hands, "I love you too."

The two laughed and cried in overwhelming happiness, showering each other with kisses and looks that meant even more than words could describe. It was simple and perfect the way it is and they couldn't ask for more. Being in each other's arms is where they belong right now and for the rest of their lives.

When the two got down from their high, Jisoo suddenly remembered something.

"Wait a minute. I just have to make a call." Both of them stood up, Jisoo dialing on her phone and Lisa scooping Leo from the carpet and settled on the sofa to pet him.

Jisoo couldn't stop the grin that forms on her lips as she hears the other line answer her call.

She hears a faint  _"Hi, Jisoo unnie!"_  in the background. She's probably on loudspeaker so Rosé could hear.

"Hey guys, let's all meet up. Instead of just the four of us, invite Irene and I'll tell Lisa to invite her friends, Seulgi and Somi too. Everyone must be there, alright? We're celebrating tonight. See you, babies!"

And with that, she hung up without saying good bye, leaving Jennie clueless about the celebration she's talking about. Nonetheless, she did it anyway and Jisoo knows she won't question it anymore.

Jisoo padded over to Lisa and joined her  _fiancée_.  _Wow, this is real. They're engaged._

She pet Leo and kissed Lisa's cheek. The kitten was trying to get out of her hold so she let him go and play on his own. Lisa leaned back at the corner of the sofa and settled comfortably, patting the space in between her legs. She leaned forward and pulled Jisoo to come and settle down with her.

Lisa hugged her from behind and Jisoo melted in her touch, feeling the warmth of her embrace.

She closed her eyes, with a content smile on her lips. This is what she longed for and she's never trading this for anything else in the world. It has been a journey with turns that lead her to darkness and losing herself in the process. But all of those are memories to remember and maybe some are for them to forget. 

All that matters right now is that she's back into the right path. Even if it rains or shines, she'll continue the journey together with the people that make it bearable to go through, no matter how hard it is.

As long as she's with the love of her life, the journey becomes an adventure she's ready to discover. And when the day ends, she knows the coming days will be new adventures to face with no worries or fears in her heart.

She knows she'll always find her way back.

Right now, her heart is safe and sound in the arms of the one she loves.

_It's perfect to finally say-- she's home._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I planned to release this yesterday because it was my anniversary of being a BLINK and writing for Lisoo but I got busy with our Christmas party and I'm leaving for a vacation on the 25th so I released it today.
> 
> Anyway, thank you for reading My Personal Secretary (Personal) & Hiraeth. It's been a pleasure writing for lisoo and you guys. I appreciate all the kind words and insights about my stories. They really lift up a writer's mood, so please continue encouraging our authors.
> 
> My Personal Secretary Saga is officially closed. Thanks for following it from the start. Till next story!
> 
> Happy Holidays, everyone!
> 
> -sel


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